“Friendship”

 

I’m from static,

Memories with no connection or visuals at all.

Only known to me because

Someone else told me it happened.

 

I’m from birthday parties and neighbors

That I don’t remember.

 

I’m from a boy, Terrin

My former best friend, until the end.

Together we shared a family, homes, and fantastic times.

I don’t remember any of it.

Maybe I repressed the memories?

I just know it happened

Because our parents still talk about it.

 

I’m from our first move,

To another house.

Then, a second move,

To another state.

 

I’m from Texarkana, Texas,

And Harley.

An old memory that seems to have no evidence of existence,

Possibly expunged from reality, yet I have a hard time believing that.

 

I’m from foggy yet real memories of us,

While we played at the Sportsplex that we had daycare at during the summer.

I remember the shiny face of the machine that dragged us in,

Our attention all but taken by it.

With the words “Dance Dance Revolution” scrawled in messy font on the top,

And bright arrows on the bottom.

I remember it like yesterday,

Yet there is nothing to prove it was real.

That she was real.

 

I’m from my first slumber party at Harley’s house.

I’m from playing with Harley’s guinea pig, having a wonderful time,

And a strange recollection of what really happened.

Of course, I remember the guinea pig, but

All I can remember otherwise is pink.

Pink walls? Possibly.

I’m not sure what my mind has collected in its banks, to be honest.

 

I’m from moving once more,

Due to my father’s job moving also,

After only about three years in that home.

 

I’m from Katherine Dennis,

Or Kat, as we all used to call her.

My best friend for over four years.

My least favorite person for less than one.

 

I’m from McAuliffe, our old elementary school,

And playing on the playground together every day.

We soared on the swings as we sang silly songs from Spongebob.

We hung out on the soccer fields, where no one actually played soccer

Except for a few athletic kids.

I’m from sleepovers at both of our homes,

And staying out for hours and hours until our parents asked to have us back.

And as we reluctantly left each other,

We planned out our next sleep over.

 

I’m from a silly little show that we called iKatie,

A parody of our favorite show, iCarly.

I’m from literal hours of recordings that we made together

At my house, with my mother’s camcorder.

I’m from sharing everything with each other,

Except for a secret or two.

I’m from a close, caring friendship,

That was much more different

Than I remembered.

 

I’m from it all going wrong.

 

I’m from our group being torn apart

As a result of an event already passed.

Kat decided she was no longer the same, as a result.

In her mind, she conjured up some uproarious, unbelievable tale

And told it to us at lunch,

As we sat, staring bewildered at what she believes happened.

A flame which I remember oh so clearly

Seemed to burst wide open within my chest,

And I could no longer take it.

So, I moved seats.

 

As the days dragged on, this tiny ball grew larger

And larger

Until finally it swallowed me whole and spit me out

So that I could finally realize I needed to do something.

So I did.

 

I told her.

At recess, one day.

I let it all go, and released my words like a siren,

Warning you not to come closer or keep trying.

She cried, and she ran, and like the wolf,

I chased her.

It was irrational, but I was angry, and young

And I didn’t care anymore.

 

I’m from losing my best friend within the span of

A few days.

 

I’m from another move, to another state,

With no contact to Kat.

 

I’m from a new world,

With new friends and a much happier existence.

My friends now mean more to me, I believe,

Although I tend to doubt my past years.

 

I’m from Layla, a huge jokester,

Who helped keep math class from being absolutely boring.

I’m from quote pages kept in her math keeper,

To cheese wax on her nose at lunch.

I’m from being apart, yet close to the heart,

Because we now go to different schools.

 

I’m from singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the bus

At the top of my lungs

With my best friend,

Back in sixth grade.

I’m from constant sleepovers, every weekend,

To the point where we had to take a break for a while

Because our parents didn’t want us gone every Friday night.

I guess they wanted to be around us too.

 

I’m from the best times of my life,

Where I felt like the happiest person alive,

Like I could live forever.

I’m from spending all of my free time at their house,

Because I never wanted to leave.

 

I’m from afternoons of Super Mario Sunshine,

Screaming at their television because I couldn’t get the final shine.

I’m from infuriating levels,

From falling over and over and over and having to restart,

Or just having to race a character fifteen million times

Because I kept messing up.

I’m from feeling like god himself came down

And gave me a sick high five

When I finally finished a level,

Because man, I deserved it.

 

I’m from bands being what holds us together,

And music being our main topic.

I’m from wanting to start a band together,

Because, who knows,

It might just actually work.

 

I’m from them,

The world to me.

 

I’m from my friends,

My past,

And all those I left behind.

I’m sure they don’t know it,

But,

They helped create who I am.