“Goals” Original
Passion, money, and talent are important to the human population when deciding what the rest of one’s life should be. When choosing a career path, some live just to get by, and that is all their job is to them. For others, talent is what drives them to be successful, even if what they are good at is nothing they truly love. However, the main focus of children from the beginning should be passion about something, to follow what they love so long as they believe it is so. With this feeling of intense appreciation for one or multiple fields, anyone should be able to do what they want, for they are fiery and bright, and are willing to learn. Most individuals would do anything to learn more about a subject that they’re passionate about, specifically by research or by experience. One who loves the arts and everything relating to music and performance would try to perform as often as possible, to feel the adrenaline run through their veins as they continue their show. They perform for laughter and because they love having others feel emotion, happiness or sadness. Others who want to better the world through science and better understanding of the world will do everything in their ability to explore and learn about the world, to see if they can understand all that can be found. To work in a field that you do not feel
anything for is torture, to work just for money is meaningless as all that is found is nothing and still you must search for enjoyment in other places. Along with this, those who do not care for their jobs do not achieve the best they could, while those whose passion is strong and are willing to do the very highest work are the ones who will make it. If one searches only to receive the paycheck at the end of the week, they are much less likely to get the work they desire when compared to someone who has tried and succeeded and possibly failed multiple times, yet never gave up and is willing to give this career their all. The more passion for something that one holds in their heart, the more likely they are to gain the opportunity to hold a job within their field, regardless of what it is. As life goes on and gets harder, one must focus on what they love to keep strong, not on money or on talent, for they must fully enjoy what they do. Life is short for many, and it must be memorable and fulfilling of the dreams everyone holds in them, so to have passion in life is to be successful, as one can persevere through obstacles to gain their one true goal in life.
“Goals” Revision
Passion is important to all people, regardless of differences. It is among other important life factors, including talent and money. However, when deciding what to do in life, passion should top all other reasons to succeed in a livelihood, regardless of whether they want recognition or money.
To be passionate is to have an uncontrollable and strong emotion for something. It’s about what someone wants, why they want it, and how they’re going to get it. For example, a person passionate about the field of performing arts. They know of their love for what they do, deep in their soul. As a result, they perform whenever possible to experience that love in action, and so they can be seen and therefore receive better roles in movies or higher chair seatings in symphony. Recognition, admiration and emotion from the audience is what they live for. However, they aren’t the only ones with passion; scientists high in their fields have the same passion toward their work. Understanding of the world is what they strive for, so they can accomplish something meaningful and help the human race. These people, and many more, didn’t get to where they are without passion and enthusiasm. Whether it be for the arts, science, family, or other people, they need to love what they do to get anywhere in their profession. Employers look for hard workers, not those who are greedy for money or just talented. They want passion, and so these who truly love what they do get further in their job or profession.
Talent isn’t always the main role when deciding on who should move up in the ranks of a company or field. In fact, people with natural talent can be outdone by others who earned their talent; as long as those who have natural talent don’t have passion for their talent, then anyone can outdo them. However, if the talented person works to shine above all others, then they will become the top of their field. Any singer passionate about music can set example. To become famous, they must love the music they create and that is what allows them to become successful. It is the passion for their work that has helped them to succeed in the music industry.
Although passion is the most important aspect of getting anywhere in life, it’s easy to see why people would believe money is more important. Money is necessary to survive in this world. If someone needs to work just to survive, then they do not need or want passion. They’re just working so they can feed themselves and keep the shelter that they (hopefully) have. Others, however, just want money. For them, money is their passion in life. Even with this passion, it will get them nowhere, as they cannot truly love what they do. They don’t care for the work, only the outcome. As a result, they won’t get as far in their job as those who work incredibly hard.
There is routine for everyone in life; learn, work, die. With such a routine, people should find work that they’re passionate about, so they enjoy life. If they find passion, they also will find a purpose in life. So, no matter of talent or money, passion should be the one thing everyone has.
“Goals” Reflection
At the beginning of the year, we had to write pieces of our goals. As I had no goals at the time and was extremely depressed, I couldn’t find anything to write about and became upset. When I went to Mrs. Jamison and she saw how much it affected me (in not being able to write about anything, I didn’t believe in myself at all), she had me write an argumentative piece about what is most important in life, between talent, passion and money. It was very rushed, and didn’t make much sense; Mrs. Jamison even said that she was going to have us rewrite our “Mini-Me” pieces (aka this) for a grade. As that never happened, I decided to rewrite it on my own for this project.
First off, I gave the piece a more essay-like structure, with an introduction, 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. I decided this would be best so that it would be more organized and have separate topics instead of just one paragraph with different subtopics and no difference between them. In the paragraphs, I changed the subtopics, with only the first body paragraph being similar to the original. I had the topic of talent and money added to the argument to try and strengthen it. The wording of the entire essay/original is similar, but I tried to make the revision more coherent so it made more sense when being read. Finally, I added more examples with each paragraph to, again, strengthen the argument. I’m extremely satisfied with the revision in comparison to the original.